Sure I have loads of Fun Trifles and Upcoming Spring Events to Blog about... but I just can't bring myself to Blog about them just yet... at least not Today. Perhaps Tomorrow... I really don't know?
You see, I'm still reeling, shocked and stunned from some totally unexpected Tragic News involving a Family I have come to know as Sweet New Friends, that I liked a lot and thought a lot of. A Couple that Enjoyed many of the same things and had similar Passions... who always had Encouraging Words or a Delightful or Funny Story to tell. A Couple so full of Life... but sadly, not anymore.
I can think of nothing Negative to say about this Couple from my experiences of knowing and talking to them... nothing whatsoever... only Positives... and that makes the News all the more confusing and shocking... leaving me just Wondering what on earth happened and why?
A Family that were recently Victims of a brutal double Homicide that left the Dear Sweet Wife and Handsome 27 year old Adult Son dead!!! And the Husband, who I knew as the nicest, likeable and funniest of Guys, and considered a Friend, stabbed and recovering from his wounds, but expected to survive!!! And as if this couldn't be even more Shocking and leaving anyone who knew them in total Disbelief... is that he is the Prime Suspect at this time and it is Believed to be a DV Case!!! Wow... how do you process and wrap your mind around that?!?
I spent a lot of years processing Criminal Files in a previous Career... sure, I've seen plenty of Crime, Tragedy and Violence of Mankind towards each other within these files... and certainly enough Homicides and DV Cases to last me a Lifetime and always deeply Grieved at the senselessness of it all. But when it's someone you know... when it's anyone you've felt a Connection to... no matter how much you've Witnessed and been Exposed to... it's no less Shocking and certainly not Expected.
I consider anyone and everyone I've come to know, become Relational with and call Friends to be folks that I feel I can vouch for the Character of. You feel as though you have come to know them and it's because of their distinct Personalities and Character that you are developing and Cultivating Friendship. So if anything bad happens to them you 'feel' it... it affects you.
When people you know as Good and Decent are Victimized and especially if their Lives are cut short by a Criminal Act you have such a range of strong Emotion that it can be difficult to process and sort out. There are so many adjectives to describe... but really there are no Words... I mean, what can you say, Words seem so inadequate?
And if someone you knew as a Good and Decent person is Accused of a Violent Criminal Act... well... the sense of Disbelief is equally difficult to process and sort out... there really are no Words either... how could that happen and why? And is it some kind of mistake... surely there has to be another Explanation. some other scenario that played out... someone else to blame? Perhaps we'll never know the answers... at least for now we're left Anxiously waiting and wondering for more than sketchy information played out on the Local News... and of another Life hanging in the balance.
And Prayers... lots of Prayers going out to all of the Loved Ones and Friends of a Family touched by Tragedy beyond Belief... and of the Lives taken much too soon and in a way that nobody expects and certainly nobody deserves.
A Family that can never and will never be the same again, regardless of the back end story of this Terrible Outcome... whatever it may be...
I am deeply Saddened by it all and for them all... I Truly am... I cannot even begin to Imagine what the Immediate Family must be going through and my Heart and Prayers goes out to them.
The Broken-ness that can never be Repaired leaves me Touched, reminded of Mortality and that Events of Life can turn on a dime for any of us. We can be here Today and gone in a Moment. It was only a day or so before that I had talked with them, laughed with them, swapped Junquing Stories and Leads with each other on where the best 'Scores' were to be found.
And yet faced with this turn of Events, this Tragic News... those Trifles we are so Passionate about and Loved talking about just seem that Today... Trifles... Insignificant by comparison. How can I just Blog a Post about Trivial 'Stuff' or a Fun Event in the Face of such a Loss? Well... I can't my Friends... not Today at least...
Perhaps Tomorrow... I really don't know?
Life does go on... even in the Face of Tragedies that unfold each and every day... but it's never quite the same anytime there is a sense of Loss. And I know that I will certainly Miss my Friends Jan and Geno... and though I never knew their Son Brian, my own Son is about the same Age and I can't Imagine the loss of a Child for anyone, under any circumstances.
I have such a range of Conflicted Feelings that I don't really know how to 'Feel' about it all actually... and so many Questions that may never be Answered. I've Lived long enough to know that things aren't always as they seem or Appear on the surface. There are Illusions, Unseen and Unknown Stories and Unexpected turns of Events in the Lives of Everyone.
What we Think we know may not actually be Accurate or Reality Based at all... especially in the Lives of others and behind closed doors... there can be so much more going on that is Private. Anything and everything COULD happen in the blink of an Eye. Anyone CAN be the Victim of something Dark and Life Altering.
Everyone does have a side that we don't always or may never see come out. What Mankind is capable of doing to themselves or to one another for reasons we don't always fathom or Understand often remains a complete Mystery except to the Individual(s). In an Idyllic and Perfect World there would never be Trouble in Paradise and such Sorrows... but we do Live in a Fallen World with Imperfect and Broken Souls and Sin don't we? And so it is not for me to Judge or Speculate... just struggle to try to Understand and make Sense of such Senseless things... in the whys and hows anything like this could possibly happen?
And Realize that there but for the Grace of God... go I... and perhaps you too. Because Life is so Fragile and so Precious a Gift... and it is in Moments like this that it becomes particularly Poignant.
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian