In recent Days we've been going along trying to Act like everything is Normal and Fine... when in fact it's not. And I'm just not that good an Actress anyway, I could never win any Academy Awards for putting on a good facade. Though I'm very good at Imagining & I'm an Incurable Optimist... and so I Imagine and Believe that things are going to get better... they're bound to... 'cause after you hit bottom there's only one direction you can go, right? Up!
But it wasn't Good News... AGAIN... and I Hate that! In fact, when I took Princess T for yet another Follow-Up Consultation this Morning on the results of the Comparison X-Rays of her arm Injury it was very Bad News and it has me justifyably very Anxious! The Doctor was pretty grim... they're referring her to an Orthopedic Surgeon immediately and they're pretty certain this Injury was Serious enough to require Surgery!
OMG... my stomach was in knots... and my head was spinning at the ensuing discussion about pins... growth plates... and a host of other not-so-good-sounding stuff about how far & long reaching the consequences could be since she's in a growing phase and so a bad fracture at this time is SO not good... and who knows how much Future Medical Care will be needed!?! And to keep her as Immobilized as possible... try THAT successfully with an Active Seven year old, sorry, I don't possess Magical Powers, but I'm trying my best to keep her from messing this arm up even more!!! Not to mention the Huge Issue about the School's Negligence which we'll be addressing... I wanted to throw up... I'm surprised I haven't thrown up in fact 'cause the Nausea was intense!
But I had to sit there and Act Calm, Cool & Collected because Princess T was right there in the room with us... playing with her Barbie's and somewhat oblivious to the gravity of the discussion & situation. I didn't want to scare her since she'd already been exceedingly Anxious and fussy about going back to the Doctor again anyway since everything has been pretty painful and scary thus far regarding this Injury. I didn't want her to see that Gramma was scared shitless too now... sorry for the profanity, but that's exactly how scared and Anxious I feel! Maybe I was wrong earlier in the Post... maybe I could Win an Award of some kind because Lord have Mercy was I Acting and faking being not shaken to my Core during that "More Bad News" grave Consultation!
I had this stupid frozen Emotionless Blank Expression on my face as I took in the grim news, with Sickening Terror just lying beneath the surface! Surgery... pins... Hospitalization... she's just a Baby! And I've already got ONE Hospitalized, how am I gonna juggle this... 'cause I'd never leave a Child alone in a Hospital??! But I also don't have a lot of Volunteers for the Young Prince since he's on a regimen of Meds & a little bit of him goes a long way... even the Relatives Fade after a few days of having him... and the few days is almost up... crap!
I'm quite sure all my Acupuncture Points of Contact all over my body were in Hyper Sensitivity Mode! It's been difficult enough Acting and pretending like everything is going to be alright with Grandpa for the sake of the Children not freaking out about it or getting more scared & Anxious about him. And having Grandpa calling from his Hospital Bed and feeling like he needs to know everything going on here because he's concerned about it all. But I'm not sure this is the "Need to Know" Time for him yet and so I'm somewhat intentionally Vague and Evasive so that he can just concentrate on his Recovery and to be able to come Home to finish Healing. He can't do anything to Help anyway and his condition is too Fragile to dump heavy Issues on him right now.
I wish I could just be as Zen as the Bohemian Cat Boys, Rusty & Morris, who act like they haven't got a Care in the World...
But, they CAN act that way because they don't... have a Care in the World... in fact, it's pretty good to be them since they have us Humans in the Family well Trained to respond to their every beck & call. I should have it so good! *LOL* I don't have anybody at my beck & call right now... poor me! *Pout*
And so I've been pre-occupying myself with 'Normal' Activities that make the days seem and appear more Normal and busy for the Princess and I. Working on my new Spaces at the Antique Mall. And I've gone into Halloween Decorating Overdrive Mode at Home... why not... she Enjoys it too.
And since it's just us Gals here at the House while the Young Prince is staying with Relatives, Grandpa is Hospitalized and The Son is working his three Jobs and gone most of the time... we're trying to just have some Quality Time Together too and not think about the Bad News and current Challenges and Crisis so much of the time.
She's Eager and 'Game' for anything I suggest since we so seldom have so much Time Alone Together... just the two of us... and we do Enjoy the same Stuff... she's a chip off the ole' block... and doesn't allow Crisis to keep her from Enjoying Life... and that's a great Role Model for me. *Smiles*
She's actually having Fun... and since she hurts a lot and is so Anxious & fussy about her arm and all the visits to Doctors and Hospitals for the arm and other Chronic Health Issues she's bravely battling, I'm trying to make things as Carefree and Fun as possible... it helps me out too. And this Kid never ceases to Inspire me... she has the Darkest and Funniest sense of Wry Humor any Wednesday Addams Type Child could have. She sees the Humor in the Horror of things... and maybe that's a Blessing in Disguise for her... and for me. "We're having such a Great Time Together aren't we Gramma? Well, except for the Shots and the Hospitals and all that..." she says Today after her Appointment from Hell. We're at our Fav Cajun Restaurant, having a Catfish Dinner since Kids eat for Free this Day... and nothing is as Comforting as Comfort Food, right? *Winks* As we're munching on the Catfish & Gator, which are some of our Fav Food, she suddenly asks if they were once alive? "Yes...", I say, not quite knowing where this Conversation will lead? "Awwwww... poor Catfish... poor Gators!", she says with what I think is a genuine Sympathetic and about to Cry look on her face *uh oh!*... 'Til she then Gleefully pops some more in her mouth and lets out a hearty Laugh and says, "Too bad for them that they taste so good, huh?!" *Okay, so I know it's wrong but I'm now LMAO 'cause Dark Humor always gets me!* She points to the Gator Heads holding Candies on the Counter as we're about to leave... "And if I put my Bad Arm in there... they could take care of this whole Problem!" she says with this Mischievous Wednesday Addams Grin on her Sweet little face and then she Laughs Hysterically again at the Absurdity of her Dark Joke. *Smiles*
Yep... that's my Girl... The Dark Beast Princess...
And with that she reaches into the Gator's gaping toothy mouth and pulls out a Mint, happily popping it into her Mouth... I Love this Kid, she's gonna be alright regardless of what she Endures!!!
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian