Okay, so I didn't Intend a lot of things Today... not 3 Blog Posts in one day and certainly not the Blog Crisis that flipped me out & threatened to send me over the Edge. *Smiles* And which was finally averted as I polished off a half bottle of Moscato and fiddled with the composition until I tweaked it enough that it was similar to the way it was. And though it is clearly not the same and I liked the way it 'was'... I'm embracing the subtle changes of how it now 'is' and all is right with the Universe again! *LOL* It wasn't a complete Disaster, merely a Perceived one... and an unexpected Step of where I found myself in the Moment, and well, I didn't have to Stay there.
I think my initial Anger was fueled by Fear... a Fear that all may have been Lost & couldn't be Restored in any form or fashion and would never be the same again? That something beyond my Control had accidentally happened to something I had put a lot into, enjoy and had become so Comfortable with that it had impaired my flexibility and ability to adapt & improvise. When you're ready for a Change you can easily Embrace one... obviously I was neither ready nor prepared for a Forced Change. I had become somewhat enslaved to what 'was' and now 'wasn't'!
A Fear that if I began experimenting in an unskilled amateur Attempt to put things right, that I might just screw it up even more... and like a series of Dominos falling, have it Hopelessly Jacked Up to a point of no return even if Help finally came to assist me?! And then what? Would I have to start over from scratch and rebuild!? *Gasp!*
And in a sober state I was much too anal and uptight about it all... taking it way too seriously. I was way too attached to the outcome instead of just Enjoying the Process and the Artistic Liberty and Freedom of it all. But after a few glasses of Vino had Calmed my frayed Nerves and Angst I was much more Accepting of where I was at and had more Clarity of where I wanted to go.
I was like... Good Lord Woman, this is YOUR Blog... you can do anything you want with or to it and as an Artistic Outlet it should Evolve and not stay static or become stagnant! And that took all of the Fear out of the equation and I began to just teach myself more about the Tools that would rebuild the little Empire I had Created here in my slice of Blogovia. Where I reign supreme over it and at the click of a button can alter my whole little World of Bohemian Valhalla here in the Land Of Blog... because I can... anytime I want to... and that's rather Liberating & Empowering really.
I don't have to reinvent the wheel or strive for Blog Perfection, whatever that is... the whole Realm here is totally Subjective... there's no right or wrong way to do any of it in my humble opinion. And if I like and Enjoy the End Results then it's all good... because it's all MINE! Its a Platform each of us can construct to use in any way we Desire and choose. Sure... I didn't choose to Change it this particular day... that just happened by Accident and misfortune... but it Challenged me to make Lemonade out of a Lemon of a situation.
And Real Life has so many instances like that doesn't it? Twists and turns... Challenges and things that might make us discombobulated for a Moment until we put it all in Perspective and get our Game Face on to either Rise to the Challenge or roll over and let it Conquer us.
I'm just not much of a roll over or 'Can't' Type of person, I'd rather try and fail than to admit Defeat or Imagine anything is Hopeless or I can't make it work some kinda way by trial & error if necessary. Success is after all often moving from Failure to Failure without the loss of Enthusiasm. And I've never allowed Fear to immobilize me, because as my Dear Ole' Dad used to say, "So do it Afraid... if you have to." The emphasis being on 'do it' regardless of the range of Emotion you're Feeling at the Time... because Feelings pass & change eventually, they're fickle like that.
And not all Changes are so awful, even sometimes the Forced ones we weren't so thrilled about... we find out that we can Live through and with them... it might not be Comfortable, but it will promote Personal Growth in the Process.
May you find a way to Embrace Changes too my Friends... whatever they may be... Dawn... The Bohemian