We're Continuing now with more Shops we Enjoyed during the recent Girl's Day Out. Today we're in my Friend Shelly's Wonderful Shop RUST AND ROSES in Phoenix. And while we're enjoying all of the Outstanding Visuals of the Shop and the Inventory I'm sure you'll fall in Love with, let's talk...
On a Side Note: I'd Love my Headboard and Footboard to look like this... and with matching Boudoir Chair ta boot... but so long as I'm Sharing a Bed and a Boudoir with The Man... not gonna happen. *Smiles*
I don't think a Macho Retired Marine could feel totally comfortable in a Fabulous Marie Antoinette Style Boudoir?!? So we'll just stick with Exotic Gypsy Bohemian, he can handle that! *LOL*
Sorry to get Distracted by the Headboard and Footboard thing at the start of our talk... but I'm very ADHD like that, hang around with me long enough and you'll totally get used to me easily being sidetracked during Conversations and then going back to the Conversation at hand once a Distraction has passed. *Winks* Actually our talk is going to be about Boredom... and I should have called the Blog Post Title: "How To Best Deal With Bored People"... but that sounded like such a Downer... and Sharing a Girl's Day Out with you didn't... so I felt like you might Show Up with the better Post Title? *Winks... and here you are... so it worked!*
Now when I'm talking about Bored People I'm not referring to myself... I don't recall ever being Bored a day in my Life... Honestly... I can always think of something to do that amuses me... SEE!?! *Winks* Yes, I'm easily Entertained and so many things and people Interest or Delight and Intrigue me that I shall likely never have a Bored Moment with nothing to do, nowhere to go and nobody to meet.
I usually have quite the opposite quandrum of too much to do, too many places to go and not enough time to myself for Quiet Reflections and Meditation in the absence of Activity and an Itinerary! I'm always on the go or doing something... whether it is enjoyable or not varies... but certainly I have no Time or inclination to be Bored! And I was seriously considering that Fez coz I LOVE IT... because when you're out and about Sporting one of those you're SURE to have a Conversation Starter with Random People, no? *Winks* But I resisted the Urge to get it because I Wonder if I need to be in some Fraternal Order of Something, a Shriner or the actual "Mounted Patrol of Moila" to Qualify wearing it? I'm pretty sure it's a "Guy Thing"... so I Passed on Delightful Fez purchase so as not to unintentionally Offend someone by wearing it out and about. *Le Sigh*
But I digress, yet again, back to Bored People, you know, those ones who aren't US! *Winks* And how best to Deal with them? Because I haven't found the best and most effective way yet... unless of coarse you want to Volunteer to be their Personal Entertainment Director for Life, which is a full time Job without pay!!! And I'm not up to that because I'm too Involved with my own Life and doing the stuff I can always figure out myself to do to occupy my Mind and my own Time here on Earth! *LOL*
And I'm not just talking about Bored Children, though they appear to abound nowadays and seem to have Mysteriously forgotten how to be Kids without Adult prompting on how Imagination SHOULD work to occupy their Mind and their Day?!? If they don't have megadoses of external stimulation {most of it COSTING something} they simply don't know what to do with themselves? Well... until threatened that the next Kid to say they're Bored to me will be given LOTS to do in the realm of Housework, Yardwork and Chores. 'Cause I can think up a whole Host of that stuff to keep Idle little hands and minds busy while trying to figure out how to now get out of that predicament they've brought upon themselves with alleged Boredom and Soliciting my Help with it! *Winks*
Even with all the latest Technological Advances and abundance of personal possessions... like a TV in their room, and a great many of them even having their own Phones, that we never Dreamed of or had as Kids... its just not enough, they're insatiable about doing the next thing... whatever that is... they can't seem to figure it out on their own though or do it without your participation... and that drives me Crazy! I don't wanna do Kid Stuff Twenty-Four-Seven... I'm a Senior Citizen... I know this because I get my Senior Discount. *LOL*
Which I've Earned by Living this long... maybe too long because I'm finding that Bored People Annoy me terribly and Work my Last Nerve ... or at least way more than they used to! *Winks* In my Head I don't feel Old at all... but often in my Body and my Tolerance of things that bug the crap out of me... it Reveals itself to me, this Age thing, because it shows up in those areas most often. Where I Become that Cranky Old Lady as Aging Body and Patience fall out on occassion. Sometimes its just more than enough to handle and Maintain your own Nervous System and Agenda... without being asked to handle and Maintain someone else's!
You see, there's no Fixing Bored People, I know that... it's their Issue and they're the only ones that can Fix it... and that Revelation seems to Evade or Elude them as they seek out others to attempt to Fix it for them... which isn't possible. It might seem like a Quick Fix momentarily, but they'll go right back to being Bored because they haven't Discovered that Truth about Self-Awareness. One of my Yoga Sutra Steps suggest Ignoring the Bothersome or Negative things and people for my own Well-Being, to keep Centered, maintain my Peace, my Calm and avoid all Suffering, now and in the Future. I know this Works well... IF you can manage to Ignore them.
Ever tried just Ignoring a Bored Person? Be it Adult or Child... it takes Practice because it is a part of who they are right now, and maybe always will be. So I try to just Ignore for now and Hope they will come around in thier own time and get out of their own way eventually. It's a Work In Progress for Yours Truly to do this though, sometimes I fail miserably if and when they don't back off and just leave me alone and quit disturbing MY Peace!
Tolerance is a Virtue I'm obviously still Working on Daily, I'm Tolerant of a lot of things and can Ignore a great deal that I find to be bothersome, Negative and different than my own point of reference. Since I don't always know why people are the way they are, behave the way they do and its not up to me to Fix them I don't want to stand in judgment or be hurtful... but if it impacts my Walk too much I have to Deal with it and them. This is the truly difficult part.
I've tried various tactics beyond the obvious Ignoring Suggestion, when that doesn't Work so well. Maybe a Seasoned Yogi could Ignore the Bored People better than I when approached or contacted... sometimes constantly... by one. I'm not at that level of Enlightenment and Nirvana just yet. I'd Love to enter into that Profound Peace Of Mind because it would be Bliss... I'm sure of it... because on the Rare occassion I've had a Glimpse of it and Experienced it, which makes you want it all the more often.
But usually during my times of Intense Peace and Serenity people aren't part of the equation... or I've been very Selective about the people who are! *Winks* I find it absolutely effortless to be at Peace with Self, I Like 'me' and spending time with 'me' is easy... but some other people, not so much, at least some of the time it takes more Work and Intense Effort! *LOL* And so I realize I have not yet Arrived.
I Love people most of the time and I'm definitely a People Person, though I'm Cool with Solitary Time too. I limit my Exposure to the Unlovely, chosing to Ignore those who are unduly Negative, Drama Prone, Toxic or Wicked... being intentionally Indifferent towards them and not form Relationship by choice. I refuse to Engage with that sort of Toxicity, Life is too Precious and I won't waste my valuable Energy or Time and be my own worst Enemy by Allowing it Access if it can be Avoided. But most Bored People don't necessarily fall into those categories, they can be and often are people we Love and who have the most Endearing of other Qualities about their Personality and Strength of Character... they just Bore easily and/or often!
And so sometimes I'm at a total Loss because I have no Point of Reference to their Situation of being Bored... I simply cannot Relate on any level. It's somewhat like dealing with the Chronically Depressed... you have Compassion at some level, but if you aren't Afflicted then it's difficult to know how to Deal with it and quite what to do or say? Or not make it your Problem too if you have Relationship and Love for the person.
And what if you have to be around them... knowing you cannot be of any real help, its very uncomfortable and can Work your Nerves... especially if it's prolonged. At least I have been Depressed and Experienced Depression... so my Empathy is greater than with the Bored, because I cannot recall the Feeling of Boredom... so I don't know what to do with that from a Personal Experience or Perspective... I have none?!
Bored People tend to Complain... a LOT! But with total Absence of Solution to that which they are Complaining About... and so since there is no Change... or movement towards Changing that which they allege to be problematic and distressing... they remain stuck... doing the same things and yet expecting different results... or doing nothing at all. I mean if you're expecting your Ship to come in, you should at least be sure you've sent one out, no! *LOL*
If you've Cultivated nothing at all or not become Invested or Involved in something... Hobbies, Interests, Skills, Relationships, Passions, Visions, Dreams, Activities, Goals, Desires, Work... SOMETHING... then how can you expect a Return? Nothing Ventured = Nothing Gained for sure! No Wonder you're Bored and at such a Loss I think to myself! So I always attempt to Explore those possibilities with the Bored People in an Attempt to Spark or Ignite something in them that they can then DO FOR THEMSELVES!?! It's in them... they just have to Discover how to bring it forth! I'm not going to, nor can I, do it FOR them... that's their Job and their Journey, not mine.
And for the very Young the Development of that Self-Realization probably needs much Guidance, Encouragement and Mentorship so that it can be Learned early... or at least as early as possible so that they don't grow into Bored Adults and remain among the Bored People category.
For some it might be more difficult than for others but I do Believe with all my Heart that it can be Learned and suitably Developed with Practice and better Self-Awareness. Any Behavior usually has some kind of Pay-off or it would simply Cease altogether. We gravitate towards what bring Pleasure rather than towards what brings Pain, unless you're really 'into' Pain. When something finally becomes too Painful to bear then we're typically prompted towards Change at all costs and Action to DO SOMETHING about it.
And so in my Blog Post about "How To Best Deal With Bored People?" I'm going to pose a couple of Questions in an Informal Survey of sorts here in the Land Of Blog... because Clearly I don't have all the Answers:
1: To the Bored People who might be now among us Online... I'm not picking on you or trying to be hurtful... just trying to better Understand really... When you Approach or Contact Someone Else when you're Bored and struggling with it... what are you really Hoping to Accomplish? Do you really Believe they are or could be the Solution to your dilemma? Meditate upon that for a Moment will you and see what your Spirit and Heart Speaks to you?
2: To those that the Bored People have Approached or Contacted who might be now among us Online... or who have a close Relationship with some Bored People... how do YOU Deal with it and with them most Effectively and with enough Sensitivity not to be Mean Spirited or utterly Frustrated in the Process, especially if they are among the Chronically Bored? What has Worked or been Futile?
I do Believe with Dialogue and Open Communication a lot of Life's Issues can be Worked Out some kind of way... and give us Tools that Assist us all in Dealing with, Accepting and Loving one another to the best of our Abilities. It is my Hope that Dealing with the Bored will become Easier and less Irritating for me Personally... because with Understanding there is usually more Compassion and Mutual Acceptance.
Blessings from the Arizona Desert... May each of you have a Full Day with little or no Boredom Interfering with the Joy that is Life... Dawn... The Bohemian