I am undoubtedly my own worst critic... and at times I have to remember not to be so hard on myself... to be kinder to "me" and cut myself a break... *Winks* I find that so easy to do towards other people, so why not myself I wonder?
No matter how much I'm doing I always feel like I could or should do more... I'm most definitely one of those "Type A" Personalities that has trouble slowing down and not being prone to excess...
Whether its cleaning, editing, decorating, organizing, creating, working, volunteering... you name it... I'm rarely entirely satisfied with my results and I confess I create some of my own stress and anxiety about those things that I do have control over and options of doing or not doing.
And certainly there are areas where there is definitely room for improvement or I've gotten behind. But in the grand scheme of things it doesn't REALLY matter and I know that I often fixate over the trivial, trifling. Perhaps as a coping mechanism and as a distraction over those things in Life that tend to be out of my control?
And even with the Posse assisting me with the many Projects I can come up with... *LOL*... I can take on tasks too grandoise and overwhelming to expect to accomplish in a reasonable time frame and with everything else that needs to be a priority ahead of those Projects.
I'm often still critical of what is still left to be done, rather than being able to bask in what has been accomplished and celebrate it.
I Love the many Beautiful things I've feathered my Nest with and feel Blessed to have such abundance surrounding me of what my Heart has desired over the years... but to whom much is given, much is required...
And Maintenance has not always been one of my strengths... whether it be the work of domestic goddess or keeping weight off after successfully losing it... *Le Sigh* Maintaining can be a tall order and I'm not always up to it... *lean in closer for a whispered confession*... and sometimes I just don't feel like it! *Gasp*
So though there are many areas I'm quite content with in my Life and have great Joy, Pride and Satisfaction about... there are also those nagging areas of my Life where I'm ultra critical of my progress or lack thereof... *Smiles*
So I do seem to be in a perpetual state of attempting to be: more organized... less cluttered... slimmer... patient... tidy... relaxed about... motivated to begin or finish... and more focused...
And sometimes I do make progress and great strides... for a time anyway...
Before I find myself slipping back into old habits or becoming overwhelmed or frustrated... and then having renewed conviction to slowly but surely make a comeback... continuing to move forward... working on it continuously and diligently, however long it takes to change those things about myself or my surroundings that bother me and I want to improve upon or change... so as to be the best version of myself I can be and have the Home I can be proud of and relaxed in.
And I try not to let it bother me too much... but you know how it is in areas of self improvement that you really want to work on and are prone to weakness... it has a habit of staying in the recesses of your thoughts & nagging at ya...
And I sometimes wonder if it will be a lifelong battle? These particular things that seem to always be a struggle for me? And yet which to some seem so effortless and natural!
Sure, everyone has THEIR particular 'Things' too, I'm not talking about striving for perfection of anything too lofty... and I'm aware of my strengths and areas that are effortless and natural to me too.
I don't tend to be critical of others so I have to learn to be as uncritical and considerate to myself and avoid being my own worst critic...
To accept my imperfections and give priority to, concentrate and focus upon those attributes, thoughts, feelings and things I am most Thankful for, can be positive about and see the evidence of God in the midst of...
And remember not to try to do so much alone...
To graciously receive needed help and Partner up with those peeps that are strong where I'm weak and vice versa, to complete each other, help each other, Pray for each other and encourage each other... and between us we can conquer our particular failings, challenges and situations... and finally be victorious for more than just a little while... *Winks*
Dawn... The Bohemian
Encouraging Words for the Day from Palm Valley Church:
When we work we just work...
When we Pray, God works.