I had a particularly difficult day yesterday coping with youngsters in the household... sometimes that happens with being a custodial Grandparent. I always try to keep in mind not to get so old that you forget what it was like to be young... but I do have to remind myself of that on purpose at times. Yesterday was such a time.
Our neighborhood is a much older one... our Home being the oldest Circa 1920 and most of the others built Circa 1950's, so there are not as many children anymore and my Grandchildren can become lonely. Most neighbors are of our generation and thus we're at that Season of life where we've acquired nice things and desire to have a nicely decorated Home and yard with a measure of Peace and serenity. I can't say that our Home is 'childproof' anymore even though we've NEVER been empty nesters since our Son wasn't grown before we began raising Grandchildren over a decade ago. But we've always raised our Children and Grandchildren to be respectful of people, their possessions and use a measure of judgment about propriety. Alas, this must have become a dying art... as time after time when we invite the Friends of the Grandchildren into our Home or yard for play and fellowship... they tend to go berzerk and wreck our Home and property if you are not in the same space with them at all times... or worse, things turn up missing!!! I'm a giver of 2nd chances, but if destruction and bedlam pursue beyond that, or you cannot be trusted and cannot show respect for us and our Home, then your welcome has expired and you won't be invited back. We have always welcomed people into our Home and had it to be a place where they could feel at Home, enjoy their visit and spend quality time with our Family... but I do have expectations and I make them clear... have a good time and just leave the things as you've found them after you are done... respect us and respect that this is our Home... pretty simple and not hard to honor.
This is particularly difficult for our Grandson to relate to on our level and it seems to be the boy Guests that have the most trouble, as even the youngest of girls has been a gracious Guest and complied with the simple rules of enjoying time here. He desperately wants Friends and we would love for him to be able to have many and enjoy his childhood with a host of happy memories. He's not yet old enough that we allow him to go far from Home without supervision and many of these School Friends don't live close by so it is not as if the visits have been reciprocal... the host of children have always landed on our doorstep... and I would be delighted with that if just any of them knew how to behave and showed basic respect and could calm down enough to play without spiraling out of control. Some of them are nearing the teen years now and yet their judgment is such that they fail to see the impropriety of such things as vandalism and destruction of personal property or throwing a frisbee in someone's livingroom!? I have to ask myself, who does that!?!?!?!?! And have things changed that much since I was a child??? When did it ever become normal or acceptable to go buck wild in someone's Home, whether a Guest or in your own Home?! Consulting with those of my generation we just could not remember a time when we were invited to someone's Home to play and destroyed it... left everything in disarray as we made our exit or thought that it would be okay to do so!
I grieve for my Grandchildren that most of their play dates have had to be arranged in public places with strangers that they may never see again rather than neighbor children they can grow up with... or have to wait to play with the Grandchildren of my Friends who we don't get to see so often as they would like. I do fun things with them regularly but its not the same experience of socialization as playing with peers. I'm not expecting a 'Leave It To Beaver' moment, I would just like them to find some children that we can invite into our Home regularly without it being an exhausting and stressful experience where things go South and tears ensue... both theirs and mine. *wink*
A touch of whimsy at the end of a day that has gone awry in an attempt to host new 'Friends' always keeps me grounded and helps me to smile through the frustration. After picking up the carnage of hosting the Children Of The Corn last night and getting things in order *le sigh*, I spied a tiny 'Pet Shop' toy peeking out at me from among the Ivy in the window... it made me smile again and realize that all children are a Blessing from God... even the ones who perhaps aren't being taught or raised well enough to be hosted without incident... and I'm reminded once again, that though we will still establish boundaries and the ethics that are important to us within our Home... I will try not to get so old that I forget what it was like to be young... Dawn... The Bohemian