OMG I've changed... and I don't even know WHEN it happened?!!
But I'm becoming more fully aware that it HAS!!!
And I'm DIFFERENT than I used to be in some very profound ways... and in a way it is slightly disturbing... *LOL* I'm sure OTHER people in my Life noticed it first... but me, well, I was apparently oblivious... until NOW...
Wait a minute, I have to sit down and take this all in... because it was a defining moment of self-realization that hit me all at once this afternoon... *Gasp*
Sure there are some things about me that have remained fairly constant and I recognize "myself", the Gal I have always been... things that are the same as the Past, the Present and probably likely to be that way in the Future... BUT...
THE CHANGES... now THOSE... they were more subtle and so I didn't really notice or think about it too much until more recently... and contemplated upon the Mystery of exactly WHEN did this happen?!?! How many years ago exactly... what was the number... the age... the Season of Life when it all began??!?!
Like when did my energy level and overall patience start to decline and then TANK... in a nosedive that makes very little sense since I can be exhausted, annoyed and impatient doing practically nothing or just thinking about what I need to or should do???!!!
Fur Baby Rusty is giving you a 'visual' here... *LOL*
Source: Maxine Cartoon
And the laziness and indifference... when did THAT kick in!?!?! Where I know what I need to do, should do in fact, feel compelled to do... BUT... can quite easily talk myself out of it in a heartbeat or totally ignore it because I just don't wanna... not NOW... perhaps not ever??!?!
And it's not that I don't CARE... I do... but I'm just not all that motivated or enthusiastic you see... I mean, does it really MATTER? What is the worst that could happen if little or any of it actually gets done? I find those conversations going on in my head as I justify skirting the issues at hand... and moving on to something more restful, enjoyable, that I AM interested in and motivated to do!
When exactly did I start to want to focus upon, talk and Blog about, photograph and be consumed by the quest for things... stuff... decorating... collecting... visual stimulation where I just noticed things around me more... was it gradual as the years progressed???
Where was the fork in the Road? When was the 'shift' from what I used to do, talk about & think about most of the time to what I'm doing, talking about and thinking about most of the time NOW?
Because frankly I don't quite remember my focus being upon such things when I was younger...
And it is only in visiting the delightful Blogs of some of the Young People that I realize that their interests and what they're writing and talking about USED TO BE MINE too.. back in the day...
BEFORE... Well, BEFORE I BEGAN...
Photographing the Food I was about to eat...
Not just once mind you...
But THREE TIMES in fact... there in the Restaurant... *LOL* Thankfully I was sequestered in a room of the crowded restaurant, in an overflow dining area more intimate and by myself... so I could be THAT Lady... the weird older one over in the corner taking pictures of HER FOOD and being totally oblivious to how strange that might actually be... even to ME after I contemplate it?!? *Winks* Though I must say this was a meal worthy of imagery!
I'm now that Gal who really is driven and gets totally into decorating the House and Yard in a way that borders on a compulsive obsession...
That LIVES FOR the Thrill Of The Hunt... and delights in it...
Whose lust for cool old stuff is practically insatiable... and filling up this ole house at an alarming rate... so that edit and purge has become a regular necessity lest I get buried in my Passions and possessions... and need an Intervention and a convoy of the 1-800-You've-Got-Junk Trucks to come a calling... *LOL*
Because it doesn't seem that many years ago that it wasn't important to me at all...
I was never very attached to things or any one place...
I wasn't settled...
I shunned materialism in fact...
And I would move quite often and get rid of things with ease and for the sake of convenience and traveling light...
Or not even have much at all and was okay with that because I was very transient in my habits and lifestyle... and the need or desire to HAVE IT just wasn't there...
And NOW... now I seem to want it ALL!!! And I'm running out of places to put it, WHY??? Why is my acquisition mode suddenly amped into hyperdrive?!! *Winks* Where is my "Off" Switch... is it stuck? Have I blown a fuse?
I remember a time when what I did have rarely matched, wasn't cohesive, didn't have a theme or could be viewed as a viable collection that I had INTENT to expand upon...
Now, don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed certain Styles, been Artistic and noticed and appreciated Beauty in all it's forms... I've always had a Love of Old and I've had many nice things over the years even before IT happened, the CHANGE...
Where suddenly it became IMPORTANT in some kind of weird and different way than before...
I was watching an episode of AMERICAN PICKERS where Mike and Frank were reminiscing about when it all started for them... the urge to seek out, collect and accumulate...
And Frank really couldn't recall but Mike remembered it being as far back as early childhood for him...
I'm more like Frank... I really can't recall... it just seemed to happen...
I've tried to put a time frame on it... wondering if it was something always IN me waiting to come from dormancy...
To full bloom...
Or if perhaps its AGE related?
Source: A Brit In Tennessee Blog
Like the jokes that equate a cluttered existance to being and looking like someone's Gramma's House... *Smiles* And not at all dissing anyone's Gramma's House because I for one always adored the atmosphere of my Nanna and Gramma's Houses...
Well, I AM someone's Gramma... and someone's Great-Gramma... so hey, maybe it's THAT TIME for me? *Winks*
That Season of Life where the pretty, unique, Antique and Vintage things become more of a priority and focus because acquiring them and having them around just makes you happy and content and transports you back in time... flooding you with memories, fond doses of nostalgia and is an enjoyable recreational pursuit to seek out and try to procure and preserve now for future generations to enjoy?
And so I did an unofficial Survey this Afternoon... when my Son and several of his Friends that I've known beaucoup years were hanging out and I asked them... Hey guys, do you think I'm getting weirder and more peculiar as I get older? *Smiles* And their response, well, it went something like this..."Oh yeah, most definitely... yeah, you're as weird as everyone else's Parents... especially the Older ones..." *LOL*
Whew... okay then... I'm perfectly Normal and on track... Thank God... *Winks*
Dawn... The Bohemian
Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials. ~ Lin Yutang