I have reached a most unusual Season of Life where those decisions that I didn't used to have to think about, I'm suddenly reassessing and wrestling with...
Should I take a long luxurious bath???... Or...
Should I clean house, fold & put away the clean laundry & dust all the dusty chachkes??... Or
Should I play with the Cat, listen to Music, play with my lovelies arranging them into vignettes... Or go hunting for Found Treasures and risk straining the exhausted budget??? Like I need one more pretty thing!!! *winks*
You see my Friends... I've reached a most unusual Season of Life where this once ultra responsible, very hard working, sacrificial, strong Woman has reached a crossroads of sorts.
I'm growing older and thus reassessing things... things that used to matter really don't matter much at all anymore... like keeping a clean, tidy and organized house... working long hours to make the ends meet... having a successful career... and putting everything and everybody before my own needs. I'm growing tired, my strength is waning in so many areas that I often feel weary or teary and it can be for no apparent reason at all and so I can feel rather perplexed and foolish for this sudden shift in attitude and priorities... or lack thereof. I can now look at things that need to be done and should be done and just decide to do something enjoyable instead... or just rest... because Lord knows I never seem to feel very rested much lately!
So, though I'd like to tell you that I make the right decisions that in my head I know I should... lately I find that I don't always anymore. Sometimes I have been irresponsible on purpose... almost in an older Woman's rebellion of sorts! *LOL* Sometimes its even a bit shameful as I know I could have and should have done better but I chose not to or found that I almost couldn't anymore.
And because I know confession is good for the Soul... I'm coming clean about it this day. Because at this Crossroads of sorts I know I must choose a direction and a path... one that will not have regrets or leave collateral damage even though I'm doing my very best most of the time... and the rest of the time... well... perhaps I'm not... on purpose... and really, I couldn't even tell you why!?
Dawn... The Bohemian